


How do you even pronounce that? Pepper Oh My? Pepper roh MY-AH?

by SesuRescue (Kigachan)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, gardening fails, he tried (tm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 17:39:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14836187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kigachan/pseuds/SesuRescue
Summary: Grillby buys a houseplant. It's quickly apparent that he is unable to care for it, so Papyrus does the Right Thing and takes it under his wing. Too bad he's also woefully terrible at it.





	How do you even pronounce that? Pepper Oh My? Pepper roh MY-AH?

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a challenge set by agraulisvanillae for eiznel, but since it was open to others I decided to join in! <3 The prompt was: “I don’t have a green thumb, more like a brown thumb--NM the plant caught on fire. Black thumb?”

It was a Tuesday afternoon when Grillby walked into the kitchen with a suspiciously bulky package in his hands. Clearly, it was something nefarious and Papyrus was going to get to the bottom of it! **  
**

“WHAT’S THAT?!”

Grillby jumped, flames sticking up as he quickly whirled around to face Papyrus. “...God, you scared me.” He set the item on the table, untying the twine rope around the top to reveal the package, which turned out to be…

“A PLANT?”

Grillby nodded. “...I had been wanting to try my hand at gardening, so I decided to buy this one. It’s a--” He paused, rustling around in his pocket and pulling out a piece of paper. He brought it up to his face, narrowing his eyes to read it. “ _Pepper oh mia_? It’s spelled like this.” Grillby handed the paper over to Papyrus, but he declined it.

“I CAN’T READ THAT.”

“...Well anyway, I’m looking forward to taking care of her,” Grillby smiled warmly at the plant,  brushing his hand lightly over one of the petals. As one would expect when pure fire touches cellulose, the petal started to blacken, and by the time Grillby noticed and pulled his hand away, the leaf had shivered up considerably. The two of them watched as the leaf slowly chipped off, and Papyrus gave Grillby a deadpan stare.

“...GRILLBY I DON’T THINK YOU’RE THE BEST PARENT FOR THIS PLANT.”

Grillby ran a hand through his flames, letting out a smoky sigh. “...Maybe you’re right.”

“WELL, I COULD TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU, LIKE A CO-PARENT?”

“...Really? You would do that for me?”

“YES, OF COURSE! I’D LOVE TO TAKE CARE OF--WHAT’S ITS NAME AGAIN?”

“...Pepper Potts.”

“YES, PEPPER--” Papyrus frowned. “YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH SANS, BUT I’LL IGNORE IT FOR NOW. CONSIDER YOUR PRECIOUS PEPPER POTTS SAVED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS. I’LL MAKE SURE SHE’S PROPERLY ATTENDED TO; I HAVE A NATURAL GREEN THUMB, YOU KNOW.”

“...This is a real relief Papyrus, thank you so much. I put everything in the spare bedroom; I figured since it gets the most light it would be the best place for Pepper to live.”

“A VERY ASTUTE OBSERVATION. DON’T WORRY, SHE WILL BE CARED FOR.” Papyrus brought the plant to his chest with a grin, subtly casting a bit of blue magic onto his cape to make it flutter. There, now he looked Great and Important and definitely a respectable individual that could take care of some simple foliage.

He retreated from the area with an extravagant smooch thrown Grillby’s way, shuffling quickly to the spare bedroom and shutting the door behind him. Only then did he allow himself to sweat.

He might’ve...exaggerated slightly when he said he had a green thumb. It’s not like this was his first time taking care of a potted plant but...well they usually never lasted through the night with him. There was just something about him that made plants droop when he was around, and then in the morning, he would find the plant dead, completely shriveled up in the pot. He always thought he gave them the perfect amount of attention and love but...maybe it was too much? Ugh, he had more of a brown thumb than anything else.

But!! The Great Papyrus will not be dissuaded by his past failures! He was a better skeleton than the skeleton of yesteryears! He could and will keep his plant alive throughout the night if his name wasn’t Papyrus the Skeleton [Last name change pending]!

And so Papyrus spent the first couple of hours frantically searching on the internet for ‘good plant tips’, and when that failed him he looked up ‘please tell me how to keep my plant alive dear god’. He eventually learned that the key to a happy plant was direct sunlight, water, and fertilizer. Luckily for him, Grillby made sure they had a lot of last one.

He located the bag of fertilizer on the ground and opened it up to take a look. Huh, he was expecting something more...thick and dark, but instead, a bag of tiny pebbles stared back at him. Was this really going to be enough? Maybe it just...needed something to activate it? Oh, of course, water must be the key to activating it!

Papyrus grabbed a watering pail from a nearby shopping bag and ran to the bathroom. He stuck the opening under the tub faucet and turned it on, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the pail to fill up. Come on, didn’t the water know how CRUCIAL it was to the process?!

“...Are you okay, dear?” Grillby’s voice piped up from the doorway. Papyrus turned around, not at all surprised to see him on the other side of the hallway in a different doorway. This poor, flame man.

“I’M FINE, JUST FILLING UP THIS CAN TO WATER PEPPER.”

“...Do be careful.”

“I ALWAYS AM!” Grillby wandered off and Papyrus shut off the water, finding the pail sufficiently filled. He dragged the container back to the room and set it down on the ground, and then he proceeded to upend the entire bag of fertilizer into the pail. When that was done he began to pour the water over the plant, pleased to find that the fertilizer came with it, leaving a nice thin layer on the surface of the soil.

After putting the pail down he went over what plants needed to thrive. There was water, fertilizer, and...OH! Direct sunlight! He glanced out the window, taking in the dark scenery. Well, he missed his opportunity for actual sunlight, but he knew he had a heat lamp around here somewhere, that would probably work.

Ten minutes later Grillby was called in to talk down the massive fire that was once sweet Pepper Potts, and after that, it was pretty much unanimous that neither of them were allowed to have a plant ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3 feel free to bother me at my NSFW tumblr: [Sesurescue](http://Sesurescue.tumblr.com)


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